I have never really believed in New Year’s resolutions. Perhaps because as a child I constantly resolved to behave better the next year only to be involved in further mischief the first day school resumed.
Move forward many years and I find myself contemplating change and wondering how I can improve myself in 2014.
Along with many others I need to be more positive, to look at the stars again and see just how brimming with opportunity life is and yet without realising it we have a tendency to introduce negatives into our thoughts and everyday conversations and getting rid of some of these negatives is my resolution for 2014.
So what am I proposing?
Really big resolutions always fall by the wayside so let’s consider something smaller; eliminating the use of just four simple, yet negative words, from our everyday vocabulary. Hate, Cannot, Never and Impossible.
These words are rarely used in context, rarely make sense and rarely if ever contribute to anything positive.
Let’s look at the words individually and see what we think:
HATE: “A transitive verb; to dislike somebody or something intensely, often in a way that evokes feelings of anger, hostility, or animosity”
Now this is a very strong, negative and unpleasant word and one I would like to see disappear from use. If you are like me you probably don’t actually hate anything and yet this word creeps insidiously into conversation…”oh I hate the idea”…..”oh I hate Social Media”, “I hate this project”. Do you really?
Interestingly when reading or listening to stories of Holocaust or Kokoda Trail survivors they had most often realised that to survive and move on with life it was important not to hate their captors.
Most great achievements in history have followed periods of struggle and complexity and I am sure that at times Pythagoras was frustrated by his formulae but did he hate them?
Let’s change our thinking to “not sure I am in love with the idea but let’s think it through” or “I just don’t get Social Media!!”
We have still let our feelings show through but in a positive way.
CANNOT: “a model verb used to indicate that it is impossible for something to be done or made use of in a particular way”
In our everyday lives is there really anything that we cannot do? Accepting that we must abide by society’s rules, we are then able to do pretty much anything we put our minds to.
When you are next tempted to say “I cannot get this report finished in time” or “I cannot get to the gym today”, think of the Para-Olympics and the CAN-DO attitude in use and on display each and every day to do what many would say “Cannot” be done.
So often cannot is used where “don’t want to” or “it will be hard” should be used.
Let’s become a can do person. Let’s consider the task and look at the different ways it can be approached and remember. You CAN do it, you WILL do it and soon you HAVE done it!!
NEVER: “an adverb indicating that something will not happen at any time, or that somebody will definitely not do something.”
Never is not so aggressively negative and yet in real terms what does it mean? I always see never as never really arriving and therefore non-existent, but it slides quietly, and negatively into our conversations….”that will never work”….”we never do it that way”…….”she will never work out/fit in etc”.
What does this mean?
Just by saying never we are limiting our possibilities. We may for whatever reason not be able to do something this minute or this day but who knows what tomorrow or next week will bring.
Perhaps we should be thinking “how is that going to work?”……”can we do this another way”…..”how can we help her fit in”
Interestingly never can be turned around…..”I will never rest until I achieve this” but that’s a different story!
IMPOSSIBLE: “not able to exist or be done”
We never know what is “possible” until we really try. Quite often we achieve the “impossible” just because we didn’t know it was “impossible”…..yes think on that!
Imagine waking up from an accident to hear the surgeon say you will never walk again or never talk again. This is a situation faced by accident and stroke victims around the world and yet against all medical evidence people move forward and do the “impossible” they walk again, they talk again!
Let’s think of these people and take our lead from them, yes the task is tough, we don’t know how but we do know we can do it!
Every day in large and small ways someone, somewhere does “the impossible” and that is one of the enduring features of being human and being successful.
So you know what I am up to in 2014