Ever felt like this?
Goal setting is mostly born out of a healthy discontent for the present. When ‘framed’ right, goal setting is helpful for keeping us focused on where we need to be at any particular time to achieve what we set out to do. It supports us in our decision making – what to say yes to, and equally important – what to say no to – so in the long term we get the results we are looking for.
But what happens when the thought of setting goals has you feeling heavy, disgruntled and just a little bit peeved. It could be because of a number of things, but is most likely that:
1. You are in overload mode. When overwhelm hits, you feel like no matter what you do -- its not going to be enough. So the last thing you want to be doing is resetting or refocusing on the goals you have set yourself. Oh my, what a recipe for guilt that is. What you can do instead is to LEARN HOW TO SAY NO and TAKE A BREAK. Forget the goals for awhile and focus on nurturing yourself. Your goals will be ready and waiting when you are ready to get back to them again. For sure, you will be refreshed and much more highly motivated when you do.
2. Your expectations are too high. If every time you think of your goals and the seeds of doubt creep in, it may be time to reassess. The solutions; yep you’ve got it – lower them. It’s not rocket science. Sometimes however, we need a blinding flash of the obvious to have us wake up and plant our feet firmly back in reality. So if you think this is you, knock a few goals back or break them down into much smaller chunks. Its okay to change the timeline on your goals. The stats say that over a period of a 3 year goal people actually under-perform in the early stages. The upside is that most people that set goals will exceed their expectation by the third year. So if it’s just a case of not being happy where you are at in the time frame scheme of things, it’s more likely you are suffering from my next point which is…
3. Your healthy discontent for the present has taken a turn for the worst. You know that feeling when you first started setting goals, saw results and motivated you to do more. Your desire to move forward was always high, but now, meh?! You feel discouraged that no matter what, you just don’t seem to be moving forward. Well, take stock. Our goals are like the horizon. Always shifting, as we move forward so does the goal posts. You know this – that’s why you kept your motivation up and kept hitting to the reset button in the past right? Well, nothing has changed – except the way you feel about it. Try this – instead of looking forward for a little while – look back. How much have you achieved in this past year. Do you have more business? Are your relationships better? Has your profit increased? Did you manage to take a holiday this year? Whatever journey you are on, forget the horizon for a bit, and look back and see how much you have accomplished. Give yourself a pat on the back and a big Well Done.
When you are back on track with your goal setting, here’s two tips to keep you on track, avoid any disillusionment and to keep the ‘healthy’ discontent for the future – even healthier.
1. Break your goals down – and now again – and now even more. Break them down to teeny tiny steps. The smaller the steps you take, the more wins you get over a shorter time frame. This will help assist with your motivation. Remember success breeds success.
2. Celebrate your wins – Every – Single – One! Give yourself positive praise and acknowledgement of the progress you have made. Take time to take your eyes away from the ever shifting line of the horizon and allow yourself to look back and give yourself some assurance that yes, you are moving forward – despite appearances or how you feel. It is great for you self esteem to boot.
Happy New Year – My goal for this year is to lower my champagne limit over the Silly Season!