Dear Past Client,
I just want to say…I'm Sorry.
I’m sorry, all those years ago, in my naivety, I blamed that extra slice of pizza you had for the whole reason you didn’t lose weight. I’m sorry I questioned every morsel of food that passed your lips, just so that I could find blame and fault in something YOU did to stop your weight from coming off.
I’m sorry I spent more time looking at your chart, noting you were at the end of your program and that THIS was my chance to sell you more membership, instead of listening to you tell me what had happened for you this week.
I’m so sorry you cried when I pointed out you were not sticking to your diet. I’m sorry I made you believe that a vibrating bed was going to increase your circulation and make your fat cells magically fall off whilst improving your posture. I’m sorry I gave so much importance to the little lines on the scales.
I’m sorry I failed to point out how beautiful and courageous you were.
I’m sorry that the different weight loss companies I worked for -- the companies that made millions of dollars right across the world, taught me to look for faults…in YOU. I’m sorry that I was taught to chase the dollar, to increase my sales for the month, to get you to buy another program, more meal replacements and supplements. Most of all I’m sorry that I was taught to uncover the one thing, the one heart wrenching reason that brought you into the centre that first day…the deep seated reason that made you hate the sight of your body in any reflection and question your self worth. And then twist that hurtful and unfounded reason into the carrot that sealed the deal…for ME, to increase MY sales for the month. I’m sorry that I let the pressure from management, to not let another client walk out the door without putting down a deposit, be the driving force behind selling you a program.
I’m sorry that I let fear of being promoted and demoted on the basis of my sales, become more important than how I made you feel.
I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you, I’m sorry I didn’t really SEE you. I’m sorry that I was more concerned about my own agenda then about yours.
Most of all, I’m sorry that I actually believed that it was your fault.
I believed the things I was taught
I believed that it was all black and white and that if you followed the tasteless, calorie deprived menus, that if you sat against the magic machines, the vibrating bed, the electric bikes that peddled for you…I believed that if you did ALL that, you WOULD lose weight, that you WOULD get fit and that you WOULD become happy. BUT…if you slipped up just a little bit. If you FAILED to follow the rules, you would NOT lose weight and it would be All. Your. Fault.
I’m sorry that I felt so relieved when I found a flaw in your menu. I was so relieved that I could blame YOU for not losing weight and not the system. What's that? Your relationship is on the rocks and you hate your job? Doesn’t matter, you had extra butter this week….THAT'S why you put on weight!
The system works you see...you’re not following the rules… you need to follow the rules. It’s that simple.
I would love to go back and sit with the 21 year old version of me and explain to her that It's NOT that simple and it's NOT your fault. It’s the fault of my teaching. It’s the fault of the billion dollar weight loss industry that preys on the vulnerabilities of others in order to make money from you and your repeat business.
You see, the system is designed to fail you. It’s designed to make YOU feel like a failure so that you will keep coming back, keep trying again, keep doing ‘better’ then last time.
20 years later
And so here we are, 20 years later, with much life experience under my belt - I Do...SEE YOU. I see that you are a beautifully complex and unique individual. I see that you have THINGS going on for you. Things that are unique to you. You hate your job and your relationship is suffering? Shit! That’s a BIG deal! Lets talk about that.
~ You had an extra slice of pizza?
~ Did you enjoy it?
~ Did you sit and really savour the taste, texture and aroma?
~ What else happened for you this week?
~ Did you do something that was just for you? Did you sit in the sun, feel the wind or rain on your face?
~ Did you walk bare feet in the mud, feeling it ooze between your toes?
~ Did you laugh? Did you hug a loved one or be hugged? Did you cry and release your emotions?
~ Did you rest when you needed to? Moved, when you needed to? Stopped, when you needed to?
Here's the thing:
There is no perfect weight loss centre designed just for you. There is no program written, that is perfect for you. There is no meal replacement, no supplement, no magic machine and vibrating bed that is going to help you lose weight.
Because your weight is not the problem.
It’s a sign, a message to you that you have ‘things’ to deal with. Things that are…you guessed it…unique…to you. If it were just a matter of eating less and moving more, if it WERE that easy to do, then we would ALL be the perfect weight that ‘They’ say we should be.
But we're not.
We are all different, in every conceivable way that we can be different, so how can ONE program, ONE way to do things be THE way to lose weight?
It can’t be.
And it isn’t.
Please believe me now when I tell you that YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL -- That you don’t need to follow the rules and restrictions in order to lose weight.
Please stop trying to lose weight. Please stop dieting. Instead, please gain life and gain health. -- Tweet this!
And when you do THAT, you will begin to see the beauty in you, and the beauty in your life.
It starts with Self Responsibility and Self Love.
Take responsibility for your own life and the direction it heads. Don’t let a faceless inventor of a ‘wonder diet’ tell you what you should be eating, doing, and thinking.
and then...LOVE yourself enough to head down the right path…for YOU.
Love and best wishes,
Former weight loss consultant for ‘The Big Guys’
Now, a Life and Wellbeing Coach, for You.