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Schnitzel n Tits, the iconic Melbourne topless bar & theatre restaurant experience. Schnitzel n’ Tits is the mouth-watering way to leave your inhibitions at the door for a night of the best and most tantalising breasts in the city. Every Friday in Melbourne, fun and cheeky happenings take place at The Colonial Hotel, where you can grab an amazing and juicy chicken or eggplant schnitzel served by the best and naughtiest award-winning barmaid babes and topless waitresses.